Homeschool? What Was I Thinking?!

Homeschool? What Was I Thinking?!

For the past two weeks my youngest has been visiting his father. It has been nice to be here at home with just my adult daughter and I. I expect my son to be home today or tomorrow. The quiet will be disrupted, my worry and concern will start. You see he is only 12, I am the only parent, and I chose to homeschool him.

But, as I say he is only 12 I should qualify that with we started his homeschooling in the 1st grade. My three adult children all went to brick and mortar schools. It was not an easy time trying to navigate all their education careers. My oldest who is 26 now and living in an adult foster home is diagnosed with aspergers. He was the most challenging with his extreme violent behaviors. Then his sister who is 25 is also diagnosed with aspergers. She was more passive aggressive in her ways. Lastly her twin brother who if anything was diagnosed with ADHD. But her twin brother being raised by a brain injured mother and siblings who struggled socially is what affected him the most.

With these three, two on Individual Education Plans, IEP’s, and one on 504, it was a crazy life. Luckily for most of their educational career I had a car because I was called to one school or two because of their behavior. On top of that all the meetings for each IEP’s and 504. Trying to make sure all the education contracts were met by the teachers and their aides. Finding that it was a great struggle to keep up with it all as an adult, let alone the harder time I had because my brain is broken.

When my oldest was 10 years old my brain and body had enough. Between all the school meetings, and then getting home and not knowing how to parent my children I had a mental break down. Child protective services had to be called. I was neglecting them because I just could not do it anymore. Restraining my oldest to keep his brother and sister safe from his rages, trying to be there for them too. I just could not do it. My oldest entered the foster/group homes then. It was hard, he was abused in his first home. I really lost it. I brought this child into this world and I could not even protect him. As I cry thinking about those times.

But, by the grace of God each of my adult children are wonderful people. My oldest, because I did place him is such a wonderful calm caring young man. He chose to stay in the foster system where he is closely monitored. He is his own guardian now and they give him choices of how independant he wants to be. My girl lives with me and works in the local high school cafeteria. Her twin brother is married and doing very well with a very cute wife. We all survived their youth, but the school system I do not want to do that again.

three teens sitting on floor with laptops.

So, that leads to my youngest, yes, he is 12 as I said. You may understand a bit more why I chose to homeschool. When my youngest boy was in kindergarten he did not do well. Behaviors again, meetings with the teacher again, calls home. This time though I do not have a car. I do not walk well anymore, the wear and tear on my knees has been enough to make it so hard to walk. The wear and tear on my psyche has me tired beyond my years. I could not see fighting the school system for another 12 years with another special needs child.

We lasted all the way through kindergarten, but barely. By the end of that year I was once again dealing with another IEP, they diagnosed him with autism, but mainly so he could get services. I almost cried through the whole meeting. Thinking not again, single parent again, IEP, meetings, behaviors, therapists. NOT AGAIN! I am too tired, to exhausted, I can’t do this!

I started him in 1st grade in brick and mortar, the school made all these promises through his IEP. But, by the middle of the year those promises were not being kept. I was being called, I was fearful that I would not be able to drop everything to go to the school when my youngest would be struggling and school could not handle him. With no car trying to get to him fast by bus or taxi just is not feasible.

So, I pulled him out. I thought well, if nothing else when he is home I won’t have to worry about how to get to him. That some how, some way God would help us figure this all out. I do not believe my youngest has autism. He just is being raised by a mother with a brain injury who is feeling her way through. Then also his father has brain injury and is barely ever there for him. As I cry while I write this. I did not expect to be writing all this. But, we are facing another year of homeschool.

The past few years he has barely made it. See we use a public online school that has a set curriculum and teachers he and I can talk to. It is a great school, but he protests doing any work. It has been a lot of fighting, but at least he is home and I do not have to figure out how I am going to get to him. I lost most of my schooling thanks to the car accident few months after I graduated high school. That is why I am so grateful to have access to teachers for him. He just does not get how to write a paragraph, and as he gets older he is going to have to write more. I can’t say he does not know how, he just loves taking shortcuts or just not doing it at all. I have seen him write, all on his own, a wonderful one page paper. It is just trying to find a way to get him to do it. Then there is math, science, social studies and what I feel is most important but is not included in the public school, learning about the Lord and the Bible. It all becomes a chore and the need to just get him to do enough work so he passes. Not trying to help him think for himself. I pray that the Lord helps us find a way to get him to really cooperate with the Christian curriculum his dad and I found. It will have him thinking and reasoning with his brain than just reading and memorizing to pass tests.

This brings me to why I am talking about homeschool at all. Usually on Monday’s I feature another blogger. The blog I found I maybe visiting her blog quite often. Homeschool Giveaways and Freebies 

As I living as a single parent and living on a fixed income. Getting any kind of help for materials for my son’s education is essential. I am grateful to those who offer sites that help us help our children. If you know of other homeschooling families please let them know about Homeschool Giveaways and Freebies they just may find something to help them.

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