What to say when you don't know what to say.

What To Say When You Don’t Know What To Say, Is This Your Struggle?

   What to say when you don’t know what to say

Matthew 10:20 For it, not you who will be speaking it will be the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. NLT.

Have you ever been in a situation, not knowing what to say? I know I have. For an example this past weekend, I had so many emotions built up on the inside of me, it was finally time to let them out. I asked myself, what to say when you don’t know what to say? I did that by shedding a few tears. Someone had asked me what was wrong. I didn’t have any words whatsoever. So what did I do? I cried with that person and ended up telling them a little bit of everything that was wrong with my life. Even though it really wasn’t anything serious!

Serious conversations

What to say when you don't know what to say
Silhouette of two people talking

I love this verse Matthew 10:20, where it reminds us, that when we run out of words to say, the Holy Spirit will speak through us when we call upon His name. It is tough having serious conversations, and we need to lean in on the guidance of His power. When I need to have a serious conversation with someone, I pray for the Lord to be my mouth and my ears. If I don’t, I may not feel the peace while speaking to the person or may feel like I could have said more.

I’m always careful about how I give advice, especially if it’s someone I just met. I’m a volunteer crisis counselor, and in one of our training sessions, they’ve taught us to form advice into a question. For example, if someone has just poured out their heart to me, and I feel like they need to see a trained therapist, I may ask them, “how do you feel about seeing a therapist?” Another example might be “what has your experience been with talking to your parents?” Always leave your questions opened ended.

Another situation could be that you need to pray about what they’re saying or asking you and get back to them. Which is okay to do! I’ve found when I’ve said before to friends, “let me pray and get back to you on this,” over time they forget about it.


If you’re among Christian friends, or even if you’re not, it’s okay to use scripture. People that truly know the Bible, should be using scripture in their prayers. Even if you’re not, learn or write down a verse or two and pray that verse over your family or friends. Admit to them, you don’t have all the answers, but you know someone who does, and that’s Jesus.

There’s a popular quote that says, “whoever you hang around the most, you start to talk and act like them.” Same goes with our Heavenly Father. Doesn’t mean you have to spend hours with Him, but it does mean, you have to say hello, and see what He has to say, Which is in His Word. The more that you challenge yourself to know scripture, pretty soon you’ll be talking like Jesus, and you will have more answers and better conversations.

What to say when you don’t know what to say

Prayer: Lord, we praise and thank your name. I ask that you’ll guide and direct every conversation that we have in our lives. May you give us the words to use, and the heart to understand what others might be facing. Give us a desire to spend time with you each day. Help us to remember what all you have said in your Word. We give you all the Honor, Glory and Praise, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

I encourage you to ask the Lord, what to say when you don’t know what to say.

What to say when you don’t know what to say

Outside sources

What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say… – TalkLife Blog
Sep 14, 2017 It can feel daunting and sometimes we worry about saying the wrong thing so we don’t say anything at all. Here are a few tips about how you …

5 Action Steps When You Don’t Know What to Say
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Christian Relationships – Christianbook.com
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Coed Relationship Skills Group | Christian Counseling Centers
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“We, You and Me” Christian Relationship Coaching | Heart to Heart …
Seeing who you are in Christ, how you are wired with temperament and learning relationship skills will reveal your authentic self. You can obtain lasting change!

How to Treat One Another | Christian Bible Studies
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Christian Relationships: Living Around Toxic Relationships and …
Editorial Reviews. About the Author. Luke F. Gregory is an accounting expert at the base, … Christian Relationships: Living Around Toxic Relationships and Difficult Personalities With Conversation Tactics Skills (4 Manuscripts) (Empath …

Berkeley Christian Counselors
The skills are effective for a variety of … conflict in distressed relationships.

4 Skills Every Christian Needs – Biblical Counseling Center
Aug 31, 2017 Every Christian needs these 4 skills: effective prayer, truth … basic building blocks of Christian relationships, but this is a lost art that the church …

Christ-Centered Friendship | Tabletalk
Mar 21, 2018 by Christine Hoover Friendship is vital to our growth and endurance as Christians , but friendship is the type of relationship we do not often learn …


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