Where is God
It has been a crazy few days. My youngest getting sick and then sharing the germs with me. Then as I check the homes for sale I find a mobile home right across the street from my in laws! Perfect spot, perfect amount of space, and some possibility of being able to afford it. But, in that all my in laws are dealing with some pretty major health issues. Things that could affect their ability to help us. My emotions have been so up and down! I started wondering where is God in all this?!
My youngest son and I are pretty much over the cold. So, God helped us through that. But, soon after that my in laws were hit with health issues. Today my mother in law is going in for a test that could determine if she needs surgery or not. Also, my father in law is having trouble controlling his blood sugar levels. He has a month to get his A1c3 down or he could lose his commercial drivers license. That is his job! His business! Their only income! Where is God in all this?! What is God’s purpose in these struggles? Could He really have faith in us to hold true to Him?
In his worry my father in law starts to worry and try to control others around him. I and my daughter came to his mind. He knows how hard it is when starting out on your own. This worry of my father in laws lead him to try to tell me and her what needs to be done. Which triggered my emotional reaction of having someone tell me how to parent when I have been a single parent and raised her to adulthood. Where is God in these emotions? What is God’s purpose in these interactions?
I calmed down, prayed and talked to my mother in law. For right now they both seem to understand why things cannot be done the way he wants them done. But, now this mobile home I mentioned earlier. My hope, excitement and wanting to figure out just how that home can become ours was over the top. It would mean my in laws would not need to make all the renovations on their house to accommodate us moving in. But, we would still be right there to help each other. All day yesterday my thoughts were racing, I was checking things, talking, researching. All the while trying to say ok God, I know when I try to do things I mess them up you need to do it. But still I let my emotions take my research and thoughts to areas they should not have gone. Where is God in these emotions? What is God’s purpose?
What I have learned in my studies about God is that He uses you, He wants to use even you who is reading this right now. If you are like me in situations similar to what I described above you experienced overwhelming emotions too. How can He use you in these troubling times? What I see is that as we deal with the emotions we need to lean in more, to fight more to talk to Him. If all you can do is say Praise Jesus while trying to draw on His strength to find an even keel then do that. Once you find that center on God, is where He can use you.
Today, I have that center and I am seeing, for just this little bit, how God can use me. Through these emotions I felt God calling me to read His Word. To really study it and focus on Him. I did that. I am doing a read the Bible through a year plan on YouVersion Bible App, plus a study with my husband and a study with some church leaders. He calmed me down, reassured me that no matter what happens with my in laws health, or the mobile home He is still in control. I need to focus on the goals He gave me in life, not my goals. The first goal is to put Him first in everything, and then to live my life so others can see Him through me. So, I will pray for my in laws like never before. I will pray for the people who are in the mobile home as they are in financial trouble or more. I will trust that God will bring the home for my husband and I when we need it, not when we think it is best. In all this I have achieved joy God can only give.